Worried He'll Pull Away? How to Overcome Relationship Anxiety!

Anxiety comes up inherently for those of us who have experienced dysfunctional family dynamics.

It comes up for us, more so than others, because we haven't felt safe with our primary care givers. That's the back story.

But, what about the present story?

Are there ways to deal with your anxiety NOW?

Absolutely!

The shift you want is to go from anxious to safe and secure.

Here are a few ways to start feeling safe & secure:

Check-in with Yourself First: Before you respond or feel anxious, take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Give yourself permission to prioritize your feelings and needs.

Shift Your Mindset: Instead of waiting for him to initiate plans or make you feel wanted, recognize that you are worthy of attention and effort regardless of his actions. Remind yourself that your value doesn't depend on his availability.

Set Boundaries Around Your Time: You deserve to enjoy your own company and fill your time with things that nurture you, rather than always waiting for someone else to decide. Setting healthy boundaries means that your time is valuable, and you don’t need to wait around to see if someone else will show up for you.

Communicate Clearly: If his lack of clarity is affecting you, it's okay to express how you feel. You might say something like, "I noticed that we haven't made any plans to meet, and I just wanted to check in with you. It feels important for me to know if you want to spend time together or not, so I can plan my time accordingly."

Let Go of the Need for Constant Validation: When we feel anxious or insecure, it's often because we're seeking validation from someone else. Instead, remind yourself that you're whole and complete on your own, and that validation starts within.

Take Control of Your Emotions: Recognize that how he chooses to act is outside of your control, but how you respond is within your control. You have the power to choose how you want to feel and how much you allow his actions to affect you.

This mindshift will not happen over night. But the more you practice it, the more you will be able to handle these situations with confidence and emotional resilience.

You've got this!

To healthier relationships,

Christina "feeling safe & secure" Kyranis